Your Heart Beat is Mine
by Rosey Malone
Summary: The night after Gillian died, and our boys are still suffering. Not slash.


Your Heartbeat is Mine

_Hutch- _

My brother is the loyalist person to me. Despite how my anger hurt him, he still found it in his heart to forgive me. The betrayal I felt was beyond words. I just wanted to scream at somebody. I wanted make my anger disappear. I hadn't meant for it to be toward my best friend. All Starsky had done was tell me the truth. How could a man ask for anything more from a friend? Yet when I had called him a liar and had punched him, he didn't turn away from me. Anyone else probably would have. Starsky however, isn't like anyone else. He'll stick with me till the end. He held me tight, until my torrent of tears stopped and I was engulfed in my grief. We we're so close, I could feel his heart beating. All of it comforted me. Starsky my brother, your love goes beyond everything.

_Starsky-_

I feel my whole body, soul, mind and spirit ache when my partner hurts. The love of his life had left him, but I won't. I'll stay by my brother's side till God tells me when. For how can I be asked to leave my soul? I can feel his grief as if it were my own. I'll take care of him. Isn't that what our relationship is about? What else can I do? My heart is yours Hutch, and only yours. Never would I give my love to anyone but you. I don't care for anyone as I do you, my friend. My chest aches for your broken heart. My heart pierces at your sobs. My arms long and ache to hold you. Let me take you in my arms, my brother. Let me hold you till you feel no more pain. I know that you don't want me to see that side of you. But, I know you have emotions. Don't build a wall from me, partner. I know how big and loving your heart is, and I know how much it hurts you now. Let me be there to pick up the broken pieces of your heart. You are too dear to me, my brother.

_Hutch-_

How can something that started out so beautiful, end up with so much misery? I was going to build a life with her. She was the one. I don't feel strong enough to go on. That's when Starsky comes and picks me up. His love is better than any women's. He is my wall to lean on. He is my best friend, partner, buddy, brother and soul mate. What we have is too special to put into words. When we had come home from that terrible night, he stayed by my side. Not forcing me to talk, but listening when I did. As I spoke of her, my grief overtook me and I could no longer hold out. I fell in his arms and wept for her, for myself, but most importantly I wept for my sorrow at the anger I had thrown at my partner. I love him so much. I would rather die than to cause him to hurt. Yet, my brother didn't hold a grudge. Starsky never does. He even jokes saying,

"I'm a boxer, babe," He laughed trying not to cry, "I'm used to the punches. That was like a minor league for me."

He makes me laugh a bit there. My partner can always make me smile, no matter what the situation. I still feel a little guilty though. I need to tell him I love him, but I'm not so good with words. This time however, I force myself to say the truth. I spill my guts out telling him how he's the most important person in my life and how I need him. He looks happy and just nods. He knows this already. He takes me in his arms and holds me like nothing else mattered to him now except us.

_Starsky-_

I can't stand to see you hurt. It makes my body writhe in pain like a knife twisting in my gut. Hutch, if you only knew the pain I go through seeing you hurting, I'm sure you would hide every tear from me. But, I don't want you to do that. I whisper softly to you as you sob. I tell you that I'm right here and I've gotche ya. I can't let you go just yet. I feel the insides of my stomach rip out in revulsion for what has happened to you. Every tear that rolls down your cheek sends new knives in my chest. I feel your body relax against my own now. That's right Hutch, go to sleep now. Let your agony out and rest. Tomorrow is a new day. One that may be harder to start, but I'll be there. That's what brothers do. Only God knows how I wish I could take this away from you. Yet, God sees our agony and He'll help us. God has made us brothers and He will not let our love die. I feel you sleeping now. As your body rests, I feel mine do the same. Now we can both sleep peacefully. Our love can get through anything. I smile as I look at you asleep upon my breast. Everything you do Hutch, I'm right with you. Your tears are mine. Your laughter is mine. Your fears are mine. Your soul is a part of me as well. Your heart beat is mine, my brother. No matter what happens, as long as we have Men and Thee, no one can break us. I'll protect you from everyone who tries to hurt you. How can two souls have so much love? Because these two souls are one together. That's why my brother and I are, Me and Thee!


End file.
